Thursday, 19 September 2013

Spock > Kirk

Let's talk about Star Trek, that really big and totally relevant piece of cinematic and television art. More importantly, let's talk about how Spock is better than Kirk. Since I like making lists, we're going to do it in list form and I am going to stop pretending you are writing this. It's just me. 

1. Intelligence is the new sexy. It was said in Sherlock, and in Doctor Who. But this especially rings true when it comes to Spock. His Vulcan brain is so logical and smart and I just want to cuddle it so badly. There was a joke in my Chemistry class about how we were graphing relationships, and that an unnamed kid just needed to graph to get a girlfriend. I leaned over to Robin and said that he could do all the math in the world and still not be attractive. Spock, on the other hand is already attractive. While Kirk may possess captain smarts and knowing the best things for his ship, the golden shirted guy would be totally no where without his trusty first commander. 

2. He's so tall. I know it's just an actor and some heeled boots, but Spock is tall. Kirk is shorter. I like tall. So this one is more subjected to taste in men. Tall men, to me, just happen to be amazing because I'm 5'7-9" and therefore don't like crouching. Except sometimes taller people are assholes that look down at you, even if you're not THAT short. Spock doesn't do that, as proven in 'Star Trek Into Darkness', when Uhura has to stand on her tippy toes to kiss him. He doesn't go "heh, you're short." And to me, that's beautiful. Because what would modern Kirk do? He would try to sleep with her. (But probably not because the Bro Code hopefully applies in space.) 

3. Only a few people can pull off a set of pointy ears and 35° (An angle measurement) eyebrows. Leonard Nemoy and Zachary Quinto BOTH are able to do this. I bet Shatner or Pine wouldn't be able to. I can't even pull off my Spock ears as well as I want to, and that's my Halloween costume. I'm going to be hipster Spock, spread the word. 

4. Probably the only crew member of the U.S.S. Enterprise to possess such misunderstood emotions. There is an episode called 'The Naked Time', and it's truly a great episode. Not just because shirtless Sulu is causing assorted mischief, and there's a guy pretending to be Irish and singing over the sound system. Because some girl who isn't Yeoman Janice confesses her love for Spock and he just loses it. Full fledged crying, because he doesn't know how to react. Now if this fellow was Kirk, he'd probably have a reaction. Street smart Kirk strikes again, but Spock at least has some issues. 

5. Spock was flipping adorable in the 2009 'Star Trek'. Especially as a kid on the planet Vulcan. I was watching that the other night and just about flipping lost to how cute he is. Kirk kind of looked ridiculous as a little boy in that movie. He looks like little Anikin Skywalker in Star Wars episode 1. I kind of expected him to go "That's so wizard.".

6. Since he's fit his feelings in control and is so logical, it's obvious that he's a great starship pilot. Well, a great textbook pilot. He knows when something is wrong, and accepts suggestions from others when it comes to things. An examples is when Nero, the Romulan (?) blowing his home planet up. Just like Alderaan and Gallifrey. Spock, though he's dying a million thousand times, keeps his cool. He realizes he has a duty, so he isn't going cry. He isn't going to let Uhura seduce him. Instead, Spock calms his ass down and gets to work. In 'Star Trek Into Darkess', Kirk loses his shit when Captain Pike is killed. Imagine if Starfleet was bombed, or earth. To hypothetically rate his losing it on a scale of 1-10, Kirk would be 50. But keep in mind, Kirk also got determined and was making decisions for his ship. Just kind of crazy decisions. When he's in distress he does stupid things. Kirk represents the human in all of us. I love him for that.

7. Kirk is a human boyfriend. He's the guy who, even if he tries to not think it, has a thought in the back of his head. The kind of guy to get a girl flowers when he forgets things, to climb mountains because he's in love, and other traditionally romantic gestures. Now, I guess that would be good for some people, but to me that sounds like work. Spock, on the other hand, is the boyfriend that your parents want you to have. There's a future that could be pieced together. Everything is more relaxed. I'm pretty sure he never did extravagant dates for Uhura because they both were working. But exposing himself to her, well that's romantic. He's the last of his kind, that they know of, and therefore is precious. 

8. Spock frustrates Kirk more than Kirk frustrates him. That's hilarious. I only kind of ship it. 

That's a lot of reading, so I'm going to stop there. Plus now it's harder to think of more things. I'm pleased with this. Spock is adorable, and who wants a manly man anyways? It is about now that I realize the attractive man list is essentially tall men. Opinions can be voiced in the comments, that I wish we had more of. Because I'm just writing for the hell of it. I wasn't to know if it's decent. 

I think I'm done here. Beam me up, Scotty. 


A thought- Chekov is adorable. He's a ginger with an accent, associated with engineering on the enterprise. 


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