Tuesday, 22 October 2013

A thought provoking thought

If you are reading this, it's because you're awesome. That and you might like my blog posts. In other words, I'll send you an invitation to the opening night of my personal psych ward. But onto the pressing topic at hand: Apple technology is standing between me and my quest sent from God. This quest is truely epic. A little back story though. 

I have a harp that has a very small range, therefore rendering me unable to play generic harp music. I must buy from a specific place, or get lead sheets off the Internet (the Melody of a song and the chords to accompany it.) if I want to play anything. Lately I've been playing sad things from Christina Perri or Lana Del Ray. But I found a website where I can get a lot more music. But it has Bohemian Rhapsody. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I could hypothetically play Bohemian Rhapsody on my harp. Except the iPad won't load the music. 

Technology is stopping me from reaching my full potential as a harpist. A shitty harpist, but a harpist all the same. 

This is because I use an Apple product. In the bible, Eve tempts Adam with an apple. She gets both their asses kicked out of wonderland because she was all "eat this" after snake/satan was all "eat this". Those are technical terms, incase you're wondering. I'm a good Christian. (my mother's ears are burning.) Adam crumbled under peer pressure and got an apple and then the ENTIRE HUMAN RACE WAS KICKED OUT. Because of an apple. 

Now let's put this in modern talk. Eve and Adam were two innocent children, slowly making their way to adult hood, trapped in the purgatory of being a teenager. They talk to each other face to face, play outside, do their homework, and are all together pretty great. Then Eve is talked to by media, saying she needs a phone. So she bites the bullet and goes to get an iPhone, or some apple product. By getting this technology, she integrates it into her life. It is the sin that plagued Eve. Spending lunches at school ignoring her friends, texting as life happens. It's enough to drive poor Adam to his end wits. 

What happened to his friend, the lovely Eve, who spent all her time with him and they were outside and social? He eventually sees that everyone else in the school has got a phone, usually an apple product, and they all seem so happy. So he breaks down and gets a phone, thus driving him out of the greatest life possible in the great garden of Eden. Instead it is replaced with screens that glow in the dark, and text, instead of experiences. Virtual farms, Candy Crush Saga, and a staggering Netflix addiction. Heaven was diminished in the search for something greater, which brought down the human race and keeps them out of absolute bliss. 

Now if that isn't the deepest shit you've seen in a while, get out of my face. Also, don't steal. I'm going to write an essay on it, and publish it in the newspaper. I'm going to spread that son of a bitch all through the internet like a STD and y'all should help. You don't have to, but you should. Mmmkay? 


A thought- Wicked was such a good musical, though only a mediocre adaptation of the book. The book did have beastilality and other SUPER weird shit. Why don't people know more about Wicked though? I mean, it's got everything anyone would ever want. Definite female characters that have flaws and traits, men in tights, a dude pretending to be a goat, and an amazing musical score. This stuff URGH. 

Saturday, 19 October 2013


So it's about a chick who drifts in space. Kind of the most terrfiying thing ever, thank you Satan. Her name is Ryan because her dad wanted a son, yet had a girl. (A good ending at that moment would have been for the opening of How I Met Your Mother and a reveal that she is actually Robin) Ryan has no earthly attachments other than her work, as her husband is dead, her family is probably dead, and her daughter died of the stupidest thing when she was four. If this was Wreck-It Ralph, she would be Calhoun and up to kick ass. Instead, Sandra Bullock's character pants over a hundred times, and defies the laws of physics.

It opens so nicely, with such a gorgeous orchestral score. Oh my goodness, I would like to marry the cinematographer. Also, they used the same font that I am using to write this in the film. Holy balls, isn't that just so gratifying? That I can use the same sort of font, and make my letters look the same. Just less stretchy and less lense flare. It was like J.J. Abrams was asked how to make the movie better after a preshowing, and replied simply;

"Needs more lense flare." 

I would take Abrams' advice though. That little dude is flipping adorable. But on the topic, Ryan blows up two spacestations (by accident; there was a lot of shit flying around in space. (Rocks, metals, bathroom tile etc.) Really, I'm surprised she lived the movie through. The movie doesn't like physics, but the dead people in space were SUPER. Super in a bad way though. They looked good....they just were dead. But I digress. They had drops of fire in the space station though, which was exciting. Lots of movement, and the way everything was shot was super gorgeous. Oh, did I mention she flies around with a fire extinguisher as her means of propelling herseslf? I did always like the movie Walle. 

It's just I wished that there was a bit more story. The entire movie was about 90 minutes, and it kept me entertained. My father really didn't like it though. He also walked out on the Hobbit though. Let's not get started on that confused pile of awesome though. (Martin Freeman, please adopt me. Give me food and let me stay in your basement as I do online courses from Oxford or in person or something. Just you and me, we can be nonromantic besties I promise. Then I'll abandon you for your bestie named Benepickle Crumblebread or something.) 

Now, the gem of the movie, the most important part, the deepest moment, is the metaphor for rebirth. It's the motif of the movie probably. How to show someone changing into something new, someone with purpose. As previously stated, Ryan had no earthly attachments, so she had nothing to live for. She was willing to just up and die. But George Clooney comes to her in a dream and tells her to try something to get something happening. The metaphor happens both physically and mentally. 

In the first station, the one that is on fire (much like Katniss Everdeen) she strips off what makes her an astronaut and becomes a human that is just scared, reducing her to an infant like state. Where she needs someone to take care of her, because she's pretty sure that she isn't the responsible parent anymore. Plus there's theres cords floating around and she's in a fetal posistion. Then at the very very bitter end, she crawls out of the water lmuch like a baby being pushed through a vagina, and exists as someone who has cheated death. It's all very touching, and I'd like to make a meeting to discuss it in a Starbucks. Bring your apple products, ironic food, shitty beer, and an extra pair of 3D glasses missing the lenses; I drew on mine. 

Last word- 7/10, I liked it. You go, Sandra Bullock. Make that movie. 


A thought- Why is jello called jello. Who the balls was like ''Let's call this wiggly, green shit jello."?

Wednesday, 16 October 2013

Jew Wario

Does anyone follow That Guy With the Glasses? Anyone at all? 

I was scrolling down my facebook feed, just glancing at the silly day to day shit that clogged up my social media. That's when I saw that Nash, from TGWTG, had shared a tumblr post. I usually click on them, because he's a funny guy and has things to say that I want to hear. But I don't think I wanted to hear what news he had today. Jew Wario, a beloved and friendly member of TGWTG, committed suicide on Thursday. Now, I had just watched the episode of 'What the Fuck is Wrong With You' this morning, and thought that no, this can't be real. This is full of shit. But no, it isn't. 

That's what everyone thought too. 

So I quickly hop onto Tumblr, to find that Nash started up a live stream. Justin Carmical was supposedly a really caring man, who was open to comfoting everyone whenever they needed help. He would listen, be a shoulder to cry on. Everyone was there, crying and sharing happy anecdotes. I personally hadn't watched too many of his videos, because I don't really play video games that are imported from Japan. 

So why am I writing a blog post? Why am I, some stranger on the internet, caring about this man?

The first reason is I read the facebook post his wife made nine hours ago. She could confirm he shot himself in the bathroom of their home, with her on the other side of the door. How could she cope with hearing the gun shot? How could she cope with being just a piece of wood away from him? I don't imagine very well. 

I also can just barely relate. No one knows why he did it, except his wife (maybe). No one saw this coming. I mean, I could listen to him on a recording from Monday, just going on like normal. But there was someting wrong that he was really good at iding. Some have speculated that he knew he had all this help, but felt that he was too afraid to ask for it. There was a period where I knew I had help, but I just felt so small. How do you deal with that when you're afraid your friends don't like you? Who do you talk to? 

But my story still continues because I talked it out. I highly doubt it would have ended in suicide. But I encourage anyone who's troubled, talk to me. (tumblr captainninapants) Find a phone line. No one is judging you for getting help. 


The epicness of chemistry 11

Did u half fail that?
Maybe 1/8th of a fail. I'm pretty confident. You?
I'm confident I failed 
 I'm sure you didn't. What's so hard about names? I can't speak for you, but I get along quite well with my periodic table. Zu
Lol I forgot the s8 thing?
Ya but it has a specific name
Well shit. 
Lol u get it wrong too?
Maybe. We will have to find out  
Lol sooooo oh I blocked Doug on Skype 
I don't have to. Got rid of that no good waste back in August.  
Lol we should watch bill nye l
Yes. This Mole shit is incredibly boring.  
Ikr that the reason I brought out the note pad 
Good. I'm on pg 92 and retained NOTHING 
I'm on pg nothing 
You rebel, you
Illegal flower in my hair tech in class and not reading the chapter I should be put in jail!! Lol if I was put in jail what do u think I would have done?
All that you've listed above AND manslaughter. 
Lol nah I think I would have done something with u like getting drunk and pissing on a cop car!!!
Three exclamation marks? Really? 
Also, cops really love their cars. Don't pee on cop cars. 
But then we would have marked it as our own and we could drive around and steal a zoo 
Stealing a cop car? Yes. Stealing a zoo? Totally. But peeing on a cop car is a little far. 
So better then licking it
Now is a great time to use than, because at first glance I thought you were pissing on the car and then licking it. Grammar is important. 
Nah remember we will be tell our children that we had books with proper grammar and spelling.... Grammar doesn't matter 
Yes it does. I think it does. It's relevant to me. 
We need a big finish to our convo 
I think Mr. Coe just alluded to Star Wars an that excites me in the sense he actually partakes in media such as the cinematic masterpiece if Star Wars. 
Fail of an ending 
This was batman and mine note after are chemistry test 

Thought for the idiot of the day.
Sometimes the questions are hard and the answers are simple. Dr Seuss


Thursday, 3 October 2013

Hair in Unexpected Places. Not in that way. In the good way.

A certain someone in my life, a someone who is kind of important in an insignifigant way, did something I have mixed feelings about. Two someones, actually. They're both FREAKISHLY attractive, and if I was a creepy 30 year old woman who didn't care about ruining marriages, I'd be very happy. Alas, I am not a creepy 30 year old woman, and I do care about ruining other people's happiness. Unless you're a couple that's making out behind the school. Because then I will break you two up and try to make awkward small talk. Because boys are gross. 

It took me far too long to realize that. Kissing is gross. Physical contact in a romantic way is gross. Hand holding with friends? Totaly okay. With your significant other? Icky. 

But on topic, I'll just put some pictures in here and that'll be self explanatory. 


That kind woman is NOT his wife. She's Catherine Tate, who is fucking awesome. Seriously.

I think it's insane that he got himself a pretty ponytail. It's for a Shakespeare play that he's in (and will totally rock the part of) and I'm pretty sure Shakespearean plays just got a whole lot more attractive. I mean, I love that guy's stuff, but Tennant too? It's like someone wants me to just die from happiness. (I wouldn't mind.)

Our next man of the minutes is Adam Levine (Spoilers!), who grew a beard. I saw him though last week and I can safely report that beard has gone away. Far far away. But let's oggle Adam Levine. 

I can honestly say that the words I put into google were, and I quote, "Adam Levine beard". I have no idea where that last picture came from, but I think I like it a little too much. So much once I'm done writing this I'm going to send it to my mother, and maybe set one of these photos as my lock screen. That's right Spock, you're going to have to go. It's okay, I will still love you.

Oh, a quick mention. If you're kissing, or hand holdling, or otherwise being physical with such an attractive man as (Levine/Tennant/Cumberbatch/Hiddleston/Smith/Evans) then it's totally okay. As long as we don't ruin relationships. There is a fine line between fangirling and stalking. 


A thought- Is it totally okay to be attracted to someone's handwriting? Because sometimes hand writing is GORGEOUS. Doesn't mean the person is, but they'll have a soul. Hopefully. Let's just say the first asswipe I dated was ginger and had the most abysmal writing. What the fuck was I thinking?