Sunday, 24 November 2013

Day of the Doctor

Today was the Day of the Doctor. It was an over-all good experience, for the most part, and an episode I would like to watch again. Sure I have issues with it, but that will be elaborated on in list form in a little bit. I just want to take this time to say that the BBC wants to kill off the wholock section of the superwholock trilogy. They released Day of the Doctor and a new 10 second trailer for the christmas episode of Doctor Who (when Matt Smith regernates, God bless his soul) and a new 30 second trailer for Sherlock. Obviously they just want everything to happen today. I mean, their website is crawling along at ridiculously slow speeds. 

But to now elaborate! I will make a numerical list of things that were wrong (or perfect) with Day of the Doctor, or things that at least bugged me. This entire party will be full of spoilers, for the record. Also, the tumblr screenshots were from my dashboard on Saturday. It took a long time, but I found the best one. 

[doweoooo intensifies]

1. Billie Piper doesn't play Rose Tyler. Instead she plays Bad Wolf, and there is no interaction between her and the tenth. It made me incredibly sad, especially for that part at the end. The War Doctor, John Hurt, says something adressed to Bad Wolf, and tenth hears it and his ears perked. Seriously, when he couldn't see Rose I got rather sad, because he was sad. David Tennant, professional cutie pie. 

2. The Time War is a thing but isn't a thing but is again. What might be the better way to say it is that this episode was confusing as fuck. If you didn't already kind of understand the type of writing Steven Moffat has perfected, also known as confusing as fuck, you get confused. It was way too hard to follow. 

3. Remember that plot with the zygons? Yeah, me neither. It was an interesting plot, and I liked that part the most. Except they leave it alone and we never get to see how everything develops. I wonder if that will tie into the Christmas special, but probably not. 

4. Ten was super-duper out of character. Like, there is fanfiction out of character that usually ends in smut with Rose and/or Jack, and then there's Fiftieth anniversary. Fiftieth was worse, in my opinion. He was all 'go with the flow' and married Elizabeth 1. Yeah. 

5. No daleks. That was good. I hate those guys. 

6. Steven Moffat, since the actual airing of the show, has been telling people that the counting is a certain way. I don't like it. I will continue being the normal one. He has also eliminated any grief from the show, which is making it kind of tedious to watch. We know that everyone lives and blah blah blah. It's leading to the poor quality of the show. Moffat is also a jerk. 

Overall, I liked the 'movie' but it wasn't that good. A lot of build up for a little explosion, versus a big one. I wanted a big one, full of intense moments and laughs. There weren't many intense moments. 8/10 stars. 



A thought- Why do teachers let us use HCl? (an acid that burns flesh)

Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Christopher and His Kind

Normally I wouldn't write down anything about a movie I watched on Netflix, just on a whim because I knew the actor. But seeing as I have WAY too much free time and a startling lack of a social life, let's dig into this cryptic movie. I hope that through doing this I will understand the movie better, which is why teachers make you dissect the things you watch in class, normally. Just in case anyone really was wondering. 

The movie opens with Christopher (played by Matt Smith) moving to Berlin against his mother's wishes. She mostly has issues with it because his father died fighting the Western Front in WWI. But Christopher is an author who is going there to find cute boys and to meet up with his friend, the poet. Not 15 minutes into the movie, he's bedded at least four guys. In one instance the camera actually shows Matt Smith humping some dude. I watch Doctor Who, and this guy is the 11th. The 11th Doctor humped some dude. I can't take him seriously. 

I guess I better mention that one of his conquests is a fellow named Caspar, who was whoring himself out to buy whores. Yup. That and in those first 15 minutes, you see not one but two pensises. 

He then meets the English neighbor he has in the apartment complex he lives in. She is named Jean, and she is going to be an actress. I quite liked this character, as she was very full of life. She wanted to be a famous actress, wanted to drink champagne every day, and called herself a whore (though really all she did was sing in a nightclub. With clothing on.) She has a boyfried, too, who just happens to walk around naked in one scene where Christopher is there, third wheeling as hard as he possibly can. It's hilarious. 

Another character we meet is a street sweeper named Heinz. He happens to bat for the same team, and is attractive. But they live in pre-WWII Berlin, and Hitler is hanging around. This is interesting because of how Heinz's mother gets a generous donation from his boyfriend, yet the brother is still willing to turn on Christopher. They do not get a happy ending, though they do get closure. It's quite sweet, really.

There's a fellow named Gerald who is also a supporting character. He's into this super odd fetish stuff, is also a queer, and is the person who got Christopher that room he has. He does die, or at least is displaced. There's also a landlady, but since I can't remember anything about her I'll just pretend she wasn't all that important. (She really wasn't that vital)

There is a line repeated throughout the movie; "You've got to stick with your kind." This is a main motif for at least half the movie, and I kind of understand why. Christopher doesn't really know where he feels most at home, because at home his mother is really just no fun to be around. His poor brother was very dedicated to his mother though, and that was sweet. But the reason that Christopher came to Berlin, Mr. Poetry writing man, left him. Then Jean's boyfriend buggers off, leaving her pregnant. She gets rid of the baby. (Cue American Horror Story theme? Flip you that's funny) Not a few days later, she also leaves. 

Remaining at that point is Heinz and his family (Minus the father, who also died at the Western Front) and Christopher. Caspar dissapeared and when he is found again, he is a nazi. Heinz's mother dies, and his brother becomes a nazi, leaving him alone. He goes home with Chrisopher, but has to return, where he is arrested by the Gestapo. This leaves Christopher to figure out who his kind are. 

Are they the gays, his family, his friends, his books? It is brought up that people are happier when they are where they belong, and I don't think he knew where he belonged. He had that crisis when he didn't know who where his friends, and I found that touching. 

Upon furthur reading, this movie is supposedly more about the nazis and homophobia. I'm sorry I didn't get that. 7/10 stars. But I did get that Christopher was a big guy in some homosexual legislature or something along those lines. I found it touching and enjoyable, definitely a good way to spend a four day weekend. 

Fun fact, Smith shot this film during a break from Doctor Who. Moffat and some other dude told the guys directing this movie that he was not allowed to have full fledged ass in any scenes. Meanwhile, I have a .gif set of him running into the ocean naked on my tumblr. Look how far that got you, Moffat. 

I ship it. 


A thought- If one is attracted to older men, is it equal parts daddy issues and the fact that they are attractive, or what is the proper ratio? (David Tennant is flipping perfect. Seriously. Marry me.)

Saturday, 9 November 2013


To start this off, I will say that I have NOT seen the original film, and will be discussing the film as a movie, and not as a remake. For the most part. 

A long time ago, there was a little girl who would get bad dreams and sleep in her father's bed. It was a good way to balance things, and she needed the security of her daddy. But he had a problem with sleeping, either insomnia or depression or something, and stayed up late. Before the widespread popularity of the laptop, or before he discovered how great they were, he would watch movies on his tv at night. He watched movies that he liked, classic horror films and adult humor movies. And she would watch them with him. This little girl became reasonably numb to most horror films, or was convinced she could take on anything cinematic. Besides, she had seen Kill Bill, the most hardcore thing ever. 

That little girl has since grown up, and admitted to getting spooked during the remake of Carrie. That little girl is my 11 year old sister. Not me. I was nervous the entire time. 

There is a theory that I have that everyone is born with basic knowledge of Star Trek (Live Long and Prosper, bitches.) and the knowledge that at the end of Carrie, she gets doused with pig blood (Spoilers) and loses her shit. Because I knew that coming into the film, but didn't know it would be as tame as it was. I was expecting a blood bath at the end of the film, but really the pay off to the entire first act was kind of  flat. Though the mother daughter parts were interesting, and I thought the school scenes were okay. Let's talk about that for a second, shall we?

Carrie is a girl who is picked on for being weird. Though I'm pretty sure they're picking on her for just not dressing like them, because the actress was very pretty. Though that was a personal nitpick I had. I assume others thought she was fine. The amount of bullying this girl hypothetically would go through is not near as much as what actually happens in the movie. I am okay with this. I mean, I went to the cinema in the fall. What else was I going to expect? Thor? (Actually, yes. I wanted to see that this weekend because Tom Hiddleston is such a cutie and then comic books are great too and well go to hell, one movie a week cinema.) 

The character of Sue was really flat. She didn't have much to do in the story line, I felt, and the scene where her mother picks up the prom dress had barely any tie ins to the actual film itself. Maybe the red prom dress was symbolic of Carrie getting bathed in pigs blood. Maybe Carrie's mother practicing self harm was symbolic of the way she gets killed. Though really the way her mother gets knocked off is symbolic of Christ's crusifiction, and how she was dying for Carrie's sinful ways.

Oh boy does Julianne Moore look old in this movie. She is 52 right now and the movie makes her look more like 55-60. Or more. She looks old. Symbolic that her old ways do not reflect modern society, and how she was raised under circumstances when women were modest and blah blah blah. Modestly in modern society doesn't exist. If it does, it's found in the mens clothing department, and is not classified as decent human wear for women. 

One big problem I had with this movie was the music. I saw Prisoners a while back, and that had a really good soundtrack for that kind of movie. I watched the first two minutes of the original Carrie to listen to the soundtrack and oh goodness why couldn't they have kept that. Some white boy plucking an acoustic guitar while writing sad romantic poetry doesn't count as an orchestral score. It needed that. That actually is one of the reasons that I didn't think the ending was as good as it could be. But this movie did one thing for society. They captured the 20 seconds that Icona Pop had for their second single. Way to go, film! You're going to feel so old in 10 years (When no one remembers the song.) 

If this is the best movie I see this fall, I will be upset. But if it's the worst, I won't mind. I mean, I liked Ender's Game a little more than this. I give this a 6.5-7 out of 10. It wasn't good, but it wasn't bad. Maybe I'll read my first Stephen King novel. 

FUN FACT! (cue shitty upbeat music!) There is a girl who gets her pretty orange prom dress caught in some fire and in a panic she starts spinning around. The director of this film probably wrote a letter to the director of the Hunger Games. This is what was in that letter;

Dear Mr. Dude,
My movie had a better girl-in-fire-dress moment than yours. Sure, she died, but at least we won't have a mediocre sequel.
Mr. Dude 

Yeeeaaahhh I'm probably the only person who isn't excited for Catching Fire.
Hahaha I'm going to hell but it'll be worth it. If you don't hear from me, my sister probably has buried the corpse. She's into this stuff. 


A thought- Why won't my mom let me wear leggings as pants? They're comfortable as fuck.