Tuesday, 22 October 2013

A thought provoking thought

If you are reading this, it's because you're awesome. That and you might like my blog posts. In other words, I'll send you an invitation to the opening night of my personal psych ward. But onto the pressing topic at hand: Apple technology is standing between me and my quest sent from God. This quest is truely epic. A little back story though. 

I have a harp that has a very small range, therefore rendering me unable to play generic harp music. I must buy from a specific place, or get lead sheets off the Internet (the Melody of a song and the chords to accompany it.) if I want to play anything. Lately I've been playing sad things from Christina Perri or Lana Del Ray. But I found a website where I can get a lot more music. But it has Bohemian Rhapsody. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I could hypothetically play Bohemian Rhapsody on my harp. Except the iPad won't load the music. 

Technology is stopping me from reaching my full potential as a harpist. A shitty harpist, but a harpist all the same. 

This is because I use an Apple product. In the bible, Eve tempts Adam with an apple. She gets both their asses kicked out of wonderland because she was all "eat this" after snake/satan was all "eat this". Those are technical terms, incase you're wondering. I'm a good Christian. (my mother's ears are burning.) Adam crumbled under peer pressure and got an apple and then the ENTIRE HUMAN RACE WAS KICKED OUT. Because of an apple. 

Now let's put this in modern talk. Eve and Adam were two innocent children, slowly making their way to adult hood, trapped in the purgatory of being a teenager. They talk to each other face to face, play outside, do their homework, and are all together pretty great. Then Eve is talked to by media, saying she needs a phone. So she bites the bullet and goes to get an iPhone, or some apple product. By getting this technology, she integrates it into her life. It is the sin that plagued Eve. Spending lunches at school ignoring her friends, texting as life happens. It's enough to drive poor Adam to his end wits. 

What happened to his friend, the lovely Eve, who spent all her time with him and they were outside and social? He eventually sees that everyone else in the school has got a phone, usually an apple product, and they all seem so happy. So he breaks down and gets a phone, thus driving him out of the greatest life possible in the great garden of Eden. Instead it is replaced with screens that glow in the dark, and text, instead of experiences. Virtual farms, Candy Crush Saga, and a staggering Netflix addiction. Heaven was diminished in the search for something greater, which brought down the human race and keeps them out of absolute bliss. 

Now if that isn't the deepest shit you've seen in a while, get out of my face. Also, don't steal. I'm going to write an essay on it, and publish it in the newspaper. I'm going to spread that son of a bitch all through the internet like a STD and y'all should help. You don't have to, but you should. Mmmkay? 


A thought- Wicked was such a good musical, though only a mediocre adaptation of the book. The book did have beastilality and other SUPER weird shit. Why don't people know more about Wicked though? I mean, it's got everything anyone would ever want. Definite female characters that have flaws and traits, men in tights, a dude pretending to be a goat, and an amazing musical score. This stuff URGH. 

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