I was scrolling down my facebook feed, just glancing at the silly day to day shit that clogged up my social media. That's when I saw that Nash, from TGWTG, had shared a tumblr post. I usually click on them, because he's a funny guy and has things to say that I want to hear. But I don't think I wanted to hear what news he had today. Jew Wario, a beloved and friendly member of TGWTG, committed suicide on Thursday. Now, I had just watched the episode of 'What the Fuck is Wrong With You' this morning, and thought that no, this can't be real. This is full of shit. But no, it isn't.
That's what everyone thought too.
So I quickly hop onto Tumblr, to find that Nash started up a live stream. Justin Carmical was supposedly a really caring man, who was open to comfoting everyone whenever they needed help. He would listen, be a shoulder to cry on. Everyone was there, crying and sharing happy anecdotes. I personally hadn't watched too many of his videos, because I don't really play video games that are imported from Japan.
So why am I writing a blog post? Why am I, some stranger on the internet, caring about this man?
The first reason is I read the facebook post his wife made nine hours ago. She could confirm he shot himself in the bathroom of their home, with her on the other side of the door. How could she cope with hearing the gun shot? How could she cope with being just a piece of wood away from him? I don't imagine very well.
I also can just barely relate. No one knows why he did it, except his wife (maybe). No one saw this coming. I mean, I could listen to him on a recording from Monday, just going on like normal. But there was someting wrong that he was really good at iding. Some have speculated that he knew he had all this help, but felt that he was too afraid to ask for it. There was a period where I knew I had help, but I just felt so small. How do you deal with that when you're afraid your friends don't like you? Who do you talk to?
But my story still continues because I talked it out. I highly doubt it would have ended in suicide. But I encourage anyone who's troubled, talk to me. (tumblr captainninapants) Find a phone line. No one is judging you for getting help.